Monday, February 21, 2011

Babies and Blackberries

I never realized how easily blessings can become distractions until I had Mary Harper.  I always said I didn't want to become one of those moms whose life only revolves around their child.  And I felt like I was doing an OK job with that until I started to think about how much she now occupies my thoughts.  As I write this, she is asleep and part of me wishes she would wake up so I could hold her!  It is crazy how my beloved dog Miss Scarlett and even Josh have now suddenly fallen a few notches down on my priority list! 

While I don't think this is abnormal for a new mom, I now realize that blessings such as a new baby can easily become viewed as an "acceptable" distraction...yet it still interferes with my relationship with God.  And I don't think God intended to bless me with Mary Harper just to watch me lose focus on Him.  I hate to admit I stopped "seeking Ye first" the second I was blessed with Mary Harper!

I also became consumed with fear after having Mary Harper. I literally didn't put her down for over 24 hours when we first brought her home because I was afraid she would stop breathing!  I know that probably sounds insane but it's true!  If my mom had not come to stay with us, she may still be sleeping in my arms at night!  And I would say the biggest adjustment for me becoming a parent is the realization I will now worry about her for the rest of my life!  And I think if my focus was on God, those types of irrational fears would subside...some.  :)

In addition to Mary Harper, there are just soooo many other distractions in my world now - the time I spend updating this blog, my Blackberry...and I don't even want to think about the hours I have wasted on Facebook!!  Luckily, I do not have an iPhone!  This all reminds me of the poor woman who fell into the fountain while texting inside the mall.  I was just thankful it happened to her and not me!

Peter was able to walk on water until he took his eyes off Jesus.  And right now I feel like I have taken my eyes off Jesus and I'm lying in the mall water fountain, Blackberry in hand!  If I were to stop and think how many hours I have my Blackberry in hand compared to the Bible, I would be ashamed to admit the findings. 
I guess the good news is after nearly 5 months of being wrapped up in my new baby, I have FINALLY realized and at least acknowledged that my relationship with God is suffering.  I need to remember that even though I am now a mommy, I am still a wife and follower of Christ.  And I will be a BETTER mom if I keep my focus on God. 

I would appreciate your prayers as I try to refocus my life post-baby and post-Blackberry! 

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